Hopefully
by backyardigans
Summary: This is set after Arizona goes to Africa and leaves a very hurt Callie behind. Callie is clearly affected by their break up and finds herself very depressed, that is, until a certain blonde returns.
1. Wish You Were Here

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, no infringement intended. I do, however, own all mistakes that you might encounter while reading this fic. I also own a lightsaber.

A/N: This is my first fic, I hope I live up to my own expectations... And yours.

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><p>She went back to the dark place, that small corner she'd turn to whenever she needed to feel alive. Whenever she wanted to feel anything, really, because pain was the only sensation that reminded her she still lived on Earth. She turned to her last resort and went back to her memories. Lucid, vivid memories of all she had with Arizona.<p>

She remembered one of her last conversations with her, when she had been bragging about how she was a great catch.

-"If someone loves you enough to trace constellations across your skin, and also loves you enough to notice that your birthmarks recreate the Ursa Major, I'd say you keep them". Callie smirked, caressing her lover's pale skin.

But Arizona didn't say a word, she chose to let her hot tears stream down her neck and say everything she felt, with just one salty taste. She only hoped to give her Calliope an ocean, she was willing to cry a whole sea if she needed to. She was overwhelmed and couldn't keep her emotions at hand. Arizona Robbins was always one to wear her heart in her sleeve. But the moment she saw the beautiful brunette at her most vulnerable point, she knew those eyes were made for her. That instant, where their lips met, she knew she'd keep her around. It was a promise she made to herself: To never let go.

The flashbacks would not stop. They would continue to attack, leaving her helpless.

Calliope Iphigenia Torres decided break free and abruptly arose from the bed, as she finished the last thought. And she went against herself, the only way she knew how. If she wanted freedom, she had to face her biggest sentence. Entering the bathroom, to later get ahold of the razor, Callie dove into her obscure emotions. She'd lost her. And it was her fault.

The voluptuous curves of her body were hidden under the over-sized tee she opted for the evening. Her cinnamon skin, once bathed in sunlight and delighted in her caramel appearance and flavor, now looked dull; it represented the lack of interaction with the outside world. Her luscious black hair, once wavy and alive, looked abandoned and dead; she had decided to cut it eventually, she imagined that someday she'd get the hunger for a new look, something that would prove how she had readjusted her life.

The razor slipped from her fingers and she could slowly feel her sanity creeping back into her body. She shook the negative thoughts out of her body and decided against it, imagining Arizona would not like to see her multiple scars and recognize herself in them. It just wasn't who she was, she knew people viewed her as an audacious, bold, provocative and badass orthopedic surgeon. Callie walked slowly to the side of her bed and sat on the edge, knowing it would take a while for sleep to come. She pulled up her covers and grasped her pillow tightly, singing quietly to herself. "Ojalá que la luna pueda salir sin ti." She fell into unconsciousness, determined to forget Arizona.

A loud thud woke her up. The clock read two in the morning and she mentally kicked whoever knocked on her door at such inconvenient time. It would take her years to fall back asleep now. Her chocolate brown locks were pulled back into a thick braid, leaving wisps of curls framed around her face. The braid bounced against her back as she reluctantly walked over to her door, not bothering to peek before opening it promptly.

The first thing she saw were the blonde locks that adorned her face and cradled her features, while eyes as blue as the sky eyed her intently. As if they were trying to tell her something that would make up for all the time lost. Erica Hahn stood in her doorway, with a frown on her face and Callie could see it was from the lack of response on her part. She couldn't lie to herself, her heart still expected Arizona's return.

Erica opened her mouth to speak, but nothing audible came out. Callie's heart constricted in her chest, remembering when she saw her skinny frame for the last time on the hospital parking lot. She began to think about how "good of a lesbian" she was now, cursing herself afterwards when she let a smirk appear on her face. But it didn't seem to matter anymore, not to Arizona, not to the ocean blue tides that parted from her eyes and left her standing in the middle of the airport with nothing to go back to. She suddenly realized that Erica had begun talking and she had missed the first part of her speech.

-"And I understand, but you have to understand me too" Her voice quivered. "I know this isn't a reasonable hour to just come to your house and beg you to talk to me, but I couldn't go anywhere else. I ran away from you once Callie, but I won't do it again." She stated firmly.

Callie could only stare. She wished it hadn't been Erica the one to realize she'd miss out on her, she wished it had been another voice calling her name, claiming her, taking her breath away, giving a new meaning to her own name. But it wasn't Arizona. It'd never be her. And Callie knew it, deep inside, she knew she'd been dumped, like a sailor leaves the girl waiting for him at the docks. Arizona had sailed on another ship, on another mission, with a different destination. Maybe they weren't meant to be.

Erica stared deeply into Callie's absent eyes and found nothing. Annoyed, half-expecting a different response, she turned to leave and let out a quiet sigh.

-"Stop. You don't have to go, you've come this far, I guess we could talk for a second" she heard after her. She could detect something in Callie's voice ... Was it fear?

She didn't really crave Erica's presence but at this point, she needed something or someone to put her out of her misery; Callie couldn't stand the thought of going back to an empty bed, to her everlasting loneliness. She saw Erica turning around and lowered her gaze, feeling embarrassed. She took two steps back, allowing her in, when she felt a set of foreign lips crashing onto her own forcefully, pushing her against her door. Without giving it too much thought, she tangled her fingers in the infinite blonde locks; they were, after all, all she ever knew.

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><p><strong>Review!<br>**

**I hope you enjoyed this. I will just say this: just like Shonda, I believe Callie and Arizona are made for each other. Take a deep breath.**

**Translation: Hopefully, the moon will be able to come out without you.  
><strong>


	2. Goodbye Blue Sky

A/N: Hello guys! I know it's kind of annoying when the chapters are delayed, and I never understood it until now. I am super busy and it's hard to post chapters quickly, but now I feel responsible for delivering this story to you guys, so I will persevere. But please have some patience!

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, no infringement intended. I do, however, own all mistakes that you might encounter while reading this fic. I also own a puppy.

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><p>It took a few minutes and a few items of clothing scattered around her living room for Callie to realize the enormous mistake she was committing. Erica's hands caressed her sides, giving a few affectionate squeezes to her hips; and as Callie collapsed onto her couch, she also regained sense. It seemed like it was a day for sudden realizations. She gasped out loud, violently opening her eyes and starting to fight Erica off, groaning with a hint of disgust. However, she mistook it as a sign of pleasure and forced herself upon Callie, grinding her hips against hers. Quickly, her lips found Callie's ear and nibbled on her earlobe, murmuring an "I missed you" that would determine the future of the evening.<p>

"No! Stop!" Callie urged. "I-I'm sorry. I can't do this to her" she whispered.

"_Her?"_ Erica inquired, confusion clear in her voice.

She soon retreated from the glorious form, fighting the tears that threatened to come. Callie couldn't help to sympathize with Erica in her grief, and tried to find her voice while swallowing the lump in her throat. She offered her hand to her, inviting Erica to join her in the couch, wanting to give her at least a decent explanation. It wasn't going to be easy for them; she had raised her hopes and now had to let them down. Erica's expectations were going down the drain and Callie knew she experienced the same thing the moment she opened the door.

"When you left, I was devastated. I was a sad person, I really was. First came George and then you left me in a hospital parking lot, and to this day I thought you never looked back." she started. "I had loved and I had lost. And then, I decided to walk tall. Mark helped, believe it or not, and as a friend. A lot of things were sucky for me and one night, I met the most amazing woman and we were insanely happy together not long after that." she stated, matter-of-factly. Erica could only nod, trying to gather as much information possible.

"We went through a lot together; I really came to terms with what I felt. She was everything I never thought I'd fall for, she was perky and wore pink scrubcaps, she even wheeled down the hospital halls" Callie allowed herself to smile at the thought. "I know it's the opposite of a hardcore, badass ortho surgeon, but it is what it is. And well, I learned that peds can be very hardcore too." Callie added almost instantly, she unaware of the fact that she was rambling. "Oh, right! She was the Head of Peds, which already tells you she was a kickass surgeon." She was unable to achieve some cohesion in her speech. Callie was trying to describe Arizona and their relationship in the best way possible. "And I fell for her, really hard, head over heels in love. We spent some time apart because I wanted kids and she did not but then there was the shooting and she was-"

"Was?" Erica cut her off. "Is that why you keep saying was? Wait, what shooting?" she demanded, starting to feel uneasy. She had thought Callie was, at least, safe without her.

"There was this guy who lost his wife, because Shepherd decided to pull the plug on her and so he returned, looking for revenge. He shot Shepherd and Karev and even effectively killed two of our residents. It was awful. But me and Arizona survived. And then we got back together and I thought it was it." Callie answered. Her voice broke when she started her next thought. "And then she won a grant and left, took a plane and went to Africa without me because for a week I was cranky. Or at least that's what I thought at first… But maybe I wasn't ready to move across the world. I didn't think I was." Callie finished, sternly.

Erica nodded, once again, biting her lip. She did not know Seattle Grace Hospital had gone through such unfortunate chain of events. _Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital_, she mentally corrected herself, remembering the news report she saw a long time ago.

Callie sighed, frowning. She didn't know what else to say, she'd just unveiled her vulnerabilities to a woman that once made her weak. She knew Erica enough to know she had to ponder this information, but also knew she was going to respect her feelings. It was only then when she felt a soft hand cradle her face, running her thumb across her cheekbone.

"This might sound out of character… But I am sorry you had to go through all of this and the shooting. That sounds terrible." Erica finally spoke. "But if you love her so much, why not chase after her?"

"It's a little bit more complicated than that."

"If you say so. Maybe it was right for you to not chase after me after all, and not only because I made it very clear."

"She told me to stay here and be happy. But I do not know how to do that. I feel like I have to be faithful to her. I keep dwelling on this because I think... I think she has my heart wrapped around her finger and I'll never be able to cut that string. I don't know how to do it either. I'm always a freaking disaster. A walking contradiction. I want to get over her, but I don't. I don't know how to do any of this." Callie revealed, facing away from Erica.

"It certainly isn't this way. But you know what loyalty means to me, it's everything. That's why I won't stay for long. It isn't fair to you or her, for me to be sitting right here next to you, wanting you back. It will not solve anything". Erica finished, standing up and gathering her things.

With that, Callie helped her recollect the pieces of clothing from the floor and handed Erica her jacket back. She waked with her towards her front door and apologized for not walking her through the building, but she was in her pajamas after all. With one last thing to say, Erica turned to look at her.

"But you know Callie… Maybe you should give her a call. Or take a damn plane. Stop waiting for miracles to happen, they never do. You know better than that, for Christ's sake, you're a doctor. So just put your big girl panties on and go after the woman you love. God knows I couldn't." And with that, she left.

Erica pushed the elevator button and saw a pale figure inside the car, but looked like she'd been standing there for long. She didn't expect to meet anyone at such late hours, so she spoke quietly.

"What floor?"

"I-I'm not sure. I mean I am, but I am not sure this is my destination." the woman replied, looking puzzled.

"O-kay." Erica frowned, definitely considering taking the stairs as a substitute of spending time with a lunatic, but pressed the lobby button instead. When the elevator doors opened, she heard a voice call after her.

"What's your name?"

She turned and gave her an incredulous look. There was a hint of flirtation in the woman's voice. But Erica didn't go for blondes, so she complied quickly with the situation before walking away.

"Erica. And goodnight to you, whoever you are."

The air inside her apartment was still, even with every window fully open, and there was a scent of lavender that Callie carried with her everywhere she went. The lights were dim, casting shadows across the floors and walls. The clock read twenty past three in the morning and she hadn't realized she'd been with Erica for so long. She went to close her windows and after seeing Erica walk away, she swore she saw another blonde set of hair pace down the street. She didn't give it too much thought and went straight to her bedroom.

Calliope Torres found herself alone once again. "She just cut me off. What a monster." She muttered as she stared out her window, still arguing with herself about Arizona. It wasn't long before she noticed a blonde figure re-entering her apartment building. Was there going to be a day where she could spot blonde hair and not make a fuss about it? Callie shook her head deliberately, not bothering to answer her silent question; she slid the glass of her window and successfully closed it. She hoped it wasn't Erica; having _that_ conversation twice would be the death of her. She climbed into her bed and pulled up the covers, Seattle wasn't having particularly cold weather, but every night felt icy without Arizona's warmth. "Ojalá que el deseo se vaya tras de ti..." she sung quietly, gripping her pillow tightly. With the thought of the blonde's arms wrapped around her, she drifted off to sleep.

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><p><strong>Review! I want to know how you feel about it!<strong>

**Oh and the translation: "Hopefully, this desire will disappear by chasing after you."  
><strong>


	3. Empty Spaces

A/N: Here, I tried to post as fast as I could. The chapter was already written out in my mind, so I figured I just needed to type it down. Maybe you guys could tell some other people about this fic? I like to get feedback on it. Keep being awesome!

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, no infringement intended. I do, however, own all mistakes that you might encounter while reading this fic.

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><p>Arizona Robbins had rehearsed her speech a thousand times. She wasn't completely sure of how to express her regret, how to express she dreaded every passing second and how her life without her Calliope was far from perfect. It destroyed her, her remorse was eating her alive. Arizona's gold locks fell gracefully over her shoulders, but her beautiful features were hidden in her palms. She hadn't looked up, not even once during the whole flight. It didn't mean she was crying but it did mean she was too embarrassed to pretend she could face the world and its tragic ways. What was she supposed to say? She had imagined a few scenarios in her mind. The truth was, her flight wasn't going to land at a decent time so she was preparing to knock on Callie's door and really surprise her. She hoped Callie would take her back. So she kept rehearsing.<p>

"_Before you close that door, just hear me out. I came back, for you. I can't stand being without you. All I ever did was picturing our house, with ten kids and chickens running around. And our perfect life, and you in a bikini and me holding a sangria, and us, and this perfect thing we had. I couldn't stop thinking about my blow drier and my dresser, or anything that would be more romantic than that…" No, scratch that. She'd feel mocked. So let's try this again. "Before you close that door, just hear me out. I came back, for you, for us, for our relationship and our future. I came back because I couldn't stand it. I thought I wasn't going to make it without you. I can't make anything; I can't be anything without you Calliope. There isn't a part of me that wants to exist or even attempt to be anything that's not with you. I had to discover you're all I want, all I ever wanted". Wait, no. She isn't all I ever wanted… I mean, I do, but I had to change and the grant and… Ahh, I'm thinking too fast. Maybe that was too corny, although it was the exact truth. Arizona, stop it. Take a deep breath and just organize your thoughts. "Don't close that door Calliope and just listen to me for a second. I came back for you. The job was great and I really felt I was making a difference, but it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted you. You are what I want, all of you, every minute of every day. And I am so sorry it took me so long to come by your door and beg you to take me back." Maybe she'll tell me to not Calliope her. But I just need her name to leave my lips… It'll just make her scold, right?. Maybe I should just be really honest and not give this too much thought. Maybe I should close my eyes for a seco…_

She slept the rest of the flight and when it was time to get off the plane, Arizona was startled to say the least and her appearance had turned messy. Definitely not the look she had planned for the evening. She went through customs and collected her luggage, skipping lightly. The moment she stared at the doors that kept her from officially arriving Seattle, she started to panic. She didn't scheme anything and oh God, she didn't bring any souvenirs. Although, Callie probably would not want them, considering it was Malawi what tore them apart? Finally, she went through the automatic doors and felt her heart contracting inside her chest, and in that moment, her figure was infested with the crushing invasion of the night.

The next few hours went by unbelievably fast. She had gone to her hotel, checked in, left her bags in her room, made a few calls and called another cab. She had contemplated taking a shower, but her anxiety kept her from doing so. She needed to find Callie. And here she was, at her destination at last. It was three in the morning and Arizona roamed through the building's poorly lit lobby. She waited for the elevator, which unsurprisingly did not take a long time and got in, pressing for Callie's floor. When the elevator doors opened, she ran to her door in a hurry, she could feel the muscle inside her chest beating rapidly, pounding against her. She couldn't hold it in. Arizona stopped dead in her tracks when she heard an unfamiliar voice inside and it sounded like… a woman. She was more than frozen in her spot. Pressing her ear to the blue door, she searched for more information of what was happening but got nothing in return. The sounds were muffled by their obvious separation, her resolution quite clear. Arizona gave up eventually and decided to lean against the wall, seeking comfort.

Suddenly, she detected footsteps coming toward the door, immediately she retreated hastily and got back inside the elevator. She sighed, running her fingers through her hair, not knowing what to do. Someone was with Callie, leaving at three in the morning. This someone probably had sex with her. She shuddered at the mere thought of someone else's hands on her lover's body, discovering her most intimate places and stealing her Earth shattering glances. No, no one else could have that connection she shared with Callie… Right?

The elevator doors opened once again and greeted a tall blonde, who forced a half smile and got inside. Arizona stared right into her eyes, as if trying to question her evening at Callie's place. She felt silly instantly; she wasn't going to find out anything like this.

"What floor?" the woman asked in a low voice.

Arizona decided to speak the truth. "I-I'm not sure. I mean I am, but I am not sure this is my destination." Damn it, so much for honesty. That did not sound convincing for it was three in the morning.

"O-kay." And the car fell silent, with no further interrogation from any of the two.

But she had to know her name. There was someone stealing her woman and she needed to find out who it was, how dare her. Of course, if she went all Law and Order the woman would probably shrug her off and run as fast as she could. So she opted for a flirtatious attitude, not even doubting for a second that this woman was a lesbian. She had to be, she had spent her night taking away her lover's breath. She felt chills going down her spine.

"What's your name?" she inquired, a little hoarse for her taste. But it had to do the trick.

"Erica. And goodnight to you, whoever you are."

Arizona felt her world crumbling down and her walls being built again. No more bridges, just walls of isolation. She had made herself vulnerable to Calliope and she was what, back with her ex-girlfriend? Erica Hahn. She shuddered again, her name constituted most of her nightmares. Had Callie called her? Were they a thing now? Did Erica come back for her Calliope before she did? The questions took over her mind and her knees felt weak, Arizona collapsed onto the ground for a few minutes. She exited the elevator a few minutes after Erica and followed her silently into the dark of the night. When the woman was out of sight, she went back to the building, wondering if she would ever gather the courage to ask Calliope all her questions and ease her mind, or even have the guts to tell her how she felt, even if she could see betrayal as the only word occupying her mind.

Arizona pressed the elevator button, for what it felt like the hundredth time, but decided against it when the doors opened. She took the stairs, even if she was exhausted, they would buy her more time to think about what she was supposed to say. Arizona rushed to Calliope's front door, feeling so sure of everything until it was her time to knock. Her confidence had vanished and so did her speech.

And then it hit her, a flashback had eased its way into her mind.

"Come on, Arizona. I promise this will be something you will enjoy." Callie said, flashing her gorgeous smile.

"Yes, like I haven't heard that before". She huffed, shaking her head quickly.

"Arizona!" Callie feigned hurt. "It isn't torture. I don't know why you keep looking at it that way. I'm trying to be sweet here."

"Yes, sweet, by making me want you with your sexy Spanish and then leaving this on-call room whenever you get paged and have me take care of it by myself. Again." She was still denying Callie's request.

"Listen to me, Arizona. I'm saying I want to whisper verses against your skin, cover every inch of it with my love. You're poetry to me, Arizona." Callie spoke, quietly, taking Arizona's hands in hers and kissing her knuckles. "Maybe, just maybe, you can let me… And I'll translate, I promise." She trailed her lips to the tip of Arizona's index finger and nibbled softly, almost imperceptibly. She swirled her tongue around Arizona's finger and kissed it afterwards. "Your hands can do magical things. I would know. But a writer's hands create. And I want to recreate my feelings for you. I have it memorized because my mind would return to the thought of you all the time. Look at it this way: I've brought a blank sheet of paper with me, so you can be the poem." She looked up. "Please?"

Arizona grunted. No time had passed when she felt one of Callie's hands at her chest, pushing her back onto the small bed. "You can't resist me." Callie cooed lightly, nudging her nose against her chin. Her lips found the blonde's neck and pressed themselves tenderly against pale skin.

She kissed her clavicle lovingly and spoke, almost inaudibly. "Mis palabras llovieron sobre ti acariciándote." Arizona shivered. "My words rained over you, stroking you." Callie's lips found her neck once again, peppering it with soft kisses. "Amé desde hace tiempo tu cuerpo de nácar soleado. Hasta te creo dueña del universo." She dragged her mouth down Arizona's collar, stopping at her chest.

"A long time I have loved the sun mother-of-pearl of your body. I go so far as to think that you own the universe." Callie uttered a heavenly sound, almost a chuckle. She could hear a moan being built in Arizona's throat. Her hands found the hem of Arizona's shirt, gripping it tightly. She withdrew for a split second and deliberately pulled the blonde's scrubs off her head. It wasn't long before her lips found one of the blonde's breasts and she planted a kiss on it.

"Te traeré de las montañas flores alegres, copihues, avellanas oscuras y cestas de silvestres besos." Arizona groaned, closing her eyes, enjoying the moment. She realized how incredibly turned on she was. She also noticed how amazing being with Calliope felt, how great she was, how each of her words penetrated into her soul, let alone her kisses. She waited. "I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, blue bells, dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses." Callie murmured against her breast, sucking slightly.

"Quiero hacer contigo lo que la primavera hace con los cerezos." Callie's fingers found the top of her pants and eased them off, tracing a path of gentle kisses down Arizona's stomach. She caressed her soft thighs and marveled at the magnificent skin; the blonde acknowledged the moment as the most sensual one in her entire life. "I want to do with you what spring does with cherry trees". Callie finished, simply. Arizona pulled the Latina's face to her own and crushed her lips against hers, tugging on her bottom lip. She claimed Calliope's body for what it felt like an endless hour as they became one.

Maybe she'd come back in the morning. Maybe she'd never come back.

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><p><strong>Review!<strong> **That encourages me to keep posting chapters quickly, haha!**


	4. Is There Anybody Out There?

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, no infringement intended. I do, however, own all mistakes that you might encounter while reading this fic.

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><p>Callie stirred in her sleep, the chattering ruckus of the morning birds disrupted her peaceful slumber. She woke up a little earlier than usual and knew this with absolute certainty after she shot a dreamily glance at the clock, it read five in the morning; even though she hadn't gotten much sleep, there was a reason behind her sudden awakening that didn't involve birds. Callie was now awake because of her abrupt realization and strong conviction to move on. She had woken up with a purpose and a final resolution: To try again. She jumped into her shower and ignited the cold daggers that tore her apart. Her fingers reached for the handle and turned the water incredibly hot; she wanted it to scorch every bit of her skin. Callie rested her forehead against the tiles that knew her story too well, letting the tears flow. After managing to complete the mundane tasks, finally wrapping her hair in a towel, Callie went online to figure out how to cut hair decently. She watched some tutorials on YouTube, found the style she liked and got to work. There was nothing her badass self couldn't pull out, that was her motto today, especially as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She picked up the scissors and quickly got to work, taking one strand between two of her fingers and carefully chopping the undesired threads from her black hair.<p>

By six in the morning, Callie's hair had been blow-dried and she felt ready to brag about it. She ran her fingers through each strand of her hair, making sure it was even. The Latina stared at herself in the mirror for what it felt like ages, appreciating her handy work. For the first time in a while, she felt beautiful. She felt renewed, as if she could breathe for the first time. Erica didn't matter. Arizona didn't matter. Maybe it was time to go celibate, even if that never seemed to work out for her. Or maybe, she'd date redheads, perhaps a cute brunette. There was one thing which was crystal clear: blondes were monsters and if you were smart, you ran away from them. Taking her time, she put her clothes on and gathered her things, ready to go to work.

The rain poured incessantly, shooting daggers to the beautiful landscape of Seattle. The loud impact woke her up effectively, it was only then when Arizona realized she had fallen asleep in the hall. Luckily, Mark or Callie hadn't exited their apartments. She must have fallen asleep after sitting on the floor to ponder and go through her options. The blonde assessed the situation once more: First of all, Erica was there. What did that mean? And then, if she never faced Calliope, how would she find out? Did Callie start dating her ex again? Thinking about it, Erica's hair looked messy, as if smooth caramel hands had pulled on it while the owner's godlike mouth was occupied with the Cardio surgeon's thin, dry, horrible lips. Okay, maybe they weren't disgusting, but Arizona liked to believe they were. Perhaps Callie had denied her the entrance. But she looked so damn_ smug._

Abruptly, the pediatric surgeon stood up as her face dawned with realization. It was raining. Calliope was probably sleeping; the speech and plan could wait. She reached for the elevator button and hopped in, half-heartedly. A little voice in her head noticed, she was bailing again. But she would come back. Of that, Arizona was sure.

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><p>As she exited her apartment, a familiar scent filled her nostrils, one she thought she'd forgotten. Her brain was tricking her again, just when she decided to move on. The brunette bit her lip before letting out an exasperated sigh, resignation would eventually come. Callie had to accept one little fact: she was always going to love this woman. As much as she passionately hated her, it was still the most profound emotion she'd ever experience. Everything was raw. Intense. Real. Arizona Robbins kissed her in a dirty bar bathroom and her life turned upside down. Callie had never been grazed the same way or even dared to show her devotion with every touch, feel it even less. After the first month, the brunette found herself picking up an old habit: reading poetry. She kept it to herself; badass and hardcore bone surgeon couldn't be caught immersed in corny literature. But this was Arizona she was talking, no, <em>reading<em> about. Between the lines her name appeared and every word was meant for her. It was as if Arizona Robbins bled poems and exhaled verses. Callie was sure to leave one in her mouth with every kiss and maybe the faint hint of a melody too. The sound of her breathing was the most beautiful symphony her ears ever had the pleasure to relish on.

But that didn't matter anymore. Not to the coldhearted monster that never looked back. Callie approached the elevator and tapped her foot impatiently; the stupid hallway with its stupid odor was going to be the death of her. But when she climbed in, she curiously discovered that the smell had accentuated. The brain was surely the body's most mysterious organ.

Finally, her feet touched the wet pavement. It didn't seem like the rain would stop any time soon and she cursed the stupid weather. It made her miss Miami and everything that went with it, the sun wasn't a garment and it actually heated the atmosphere considerably. Unlike Seattle's sun, this was apparently only for creating a decent view some days. However, Arizona didn't like to hear any complaints; she loved the weather in the city. So Callie began complaining like a maniac now that she could, she didn't even notice she was rambling out loud until an old lady gave her a stinky look. The old woman noticed her recoil and spoke, waving her off.

"Oh dear, if you think you're crazy, try the blonde dancing in the rain. Now that's what I call crazy. Poor woman, poor Blondie must have escaped some mental facility, I'm telling you, my nephew…" But Callie had stopped hearing her or any sound for that matter.

The brunette quit listening to whatever inappropriate comment the old woman was making about one of her family members. Because there was a sleek silhouette that rejoiced in the middle of the street and from this distance, she could distinctly perceive her loose threads glowing. Callie loved the way Arizona's hair looked when damp; it made a visible change. She vowed to never forget. How was she going to approach her? Wait, Arizona was in Africa. She'd left and abandoned her and broke their dreams. Broke _her_. She knew this truth, deep down, to her very core, she knew she was broken. Because when a machine stopped working, something was probably broken or missing. And in her case, it was both. Calliope couldn't function without Arizona, the little parts that composed her being began to crumble with her absence and suddenly, she was damaged. And now she had options: run in the opposite directions or face her trepidations. Not quite sure of _what_ gave her the strength to move, she resumed her pacing.

It was impossible, right?

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><p><strong>AN: I'm sorry it took me forever to post this. It had to do with illness, hospitals, trips and more. Life turned upside down. But now things are looking up. Or so I hope. Review, review, review!**


	5. Speak to Me

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, no infringement intended. I do, however, own all mistakes that you might encounter while reading this fic.

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><p>The thick droplets collapsed against her creamy skin and Arizona instantly let out a squeal of joy. She started twirling, opening her arms widely, as if she was the accomplice of a secret ritual nature set up for the living. In the back of her mind, she regretted coming to Calliope's apartment. Why did she even think she was going to get her back? <strong>No<strong>. She reprimanded herself. These thoughts had to stop. The rain was now fully touching her face, soaking her completely. Arizona now learned the true meaning of freedom. Maybe dancing in the rain without a care in the world was all it took.

Callie could not believe what she was seeing. Now, she was absolutely sure, _that_ was in fact the back of Arizona's head. She dropped her umbrella to the ground and the action splashed her shoes. _Oh what the hell, it's not like it matters anymore_, Callie thought. Her steps caught a quick pace and it was then when she noticed she had started singing:

"_Ojalá que la lluvia, deje de ser milagro que baja por tu cuerpo"_

Suddenly, her heart broke into song. A percussionist's dream. It was drumming loudly against her chest, the strong hammering of a muscle that intensely wished to move and occupy her mouth; her heart didn't want her to screw up, it needed to speak. Arizona Robbins was finally in the same country as she, hell; she was in the same street, just a few feet away.

Without hesitation, Callie's hand reached for the blonde's shoulder and spun her around. Arizona was astounded, to say the least. She wasn't prepared for this. But the brunette's hair had gone black, she was wet and Arizona wondered why she hadn't brought an umbrella with her. But the rain wasn't what troubling Callie's mind, hurt was. Blue, oceanic eyes met brown ones and she saw pain; pain that was much deeper and rooted than hers. Irreversible pain. Pain _she_ had caused the moment she left and now brought up with her return. The entire city died down and all they could her was silence, neither could muster anything else.

Arizona became aware of Callie's heavy breathing. She also noticed how tiny drops were making their way into the brunette's mouth; her eyes described a new emotion she could only perceive as anger. Calliope was fuming. Her observant brain was trying to read everything it could, the blonde only wondered why it hadn't foreseen she was making a mistake by leaving her Calliope at the airport. _Oh God, I hope she's still mine to take. _Arizona's mind didn't have time to finish that sentence when she heard Callie's voice, masked with courage.

"You have nothing to say for yourself?" she frowned and her jaw tightened.

"I…" Arizona thought this thoroughly. This could be her last chance. "I came back. For you."

Callie waited.

"I did. I came back, for you. I couldn't stand the absence of you in my life. Because what was life without you and our ten kids, our ten beautiful kids? And their chickens, Calliope, their yellow, clumsy chicks. But mostly, I came back because when I kissed you in that dirty bar bathroom, I knew I wanted to date the hell out of you. I wanted to date you, and your crazy hair. And that small curl that wakes with you every morning. And your insecurities, the ones that elicit tiny, sweet, nibbles on the tips of your fingers from your precious mouth. And your incredulous arched eyebrow, and even that false smile of yours that never meets your eyes, because I'll be wishing it isn't permanent. And your books, the set of poems you keep in that black hole you call a purse." She let out a small chuckle, but her expression was pained, she could only hope Callie would detect it.

Arizona continued. "I wanted to date the three extra sizes of your t-shirt on the mornings you'd wake with me. And the restrained moan your throat never released, and the pleas you never let out."

At this point, Arizona was in tears. Unexpectedly, she took ahold of Callie's surprisingly warm hands and looked up at her, profusely. The brunette didn't flinch, but she did notice the change in the tenses.

"I even want to date that small sigh you let escape when you're lying to me by telling me you're 'fine'. I'd date that rude pantomiming of yours whenever we fight. And the tears that trace the familiar path of your cheek when we argue. And you know, I don't only want to date you, I want to take you around the world and claim you mine in every territory known to man. I'd commit and I'd condemn myself to the beautiful freedom of being tied to someone else, of being tied to you." She finished, the tears were freely running down her cheeks.

Callie was in shock, hell, Arizona herself was in shock. Her words came from the deepest corner of her soul, where truth was dying to get out and it was finally out there. Honesty came with every word the mustered.

"Ojalá pase algo que te borre de pronto. Una luz cegadora, un disparo de nieve. Ojalá por lo menos que me lleve la muerte, para no verte tanto, para no verte siempre… En todos los segundos, en todas las visiones."

Arizona cursed herself for not knowing Spanish. Though Callie's words almost sounded like… A song.

Confusion was written all over Arizona's face. "Hopefully, something happens and suddenly erases you. A blinding light, a bullet made of snow. Hopefully, at least, death will take me; so I don't have to see you as much, so I don't have to ever look at you… In every passing second, in every vision." Callie translated and said every word slowly. But the blonde could read her eyes; they were telling her something else. Callie's speech appeared to be a resolution, as if nothing could be done.

Nothing could be done because she couldn't forget Arizona. And now she knew.

"Ojalá se te acabe la mirada constante, la palabra precisa, la sonrisa perfecta." Callie shook her head, but didn't lower her gaze; she was fully staring into the deep blue eyes that harassed her every word.

Arizona understood why the brunette would feel the need of expressing herself in Spanish, but cursed her for it. It sounded sexy, cruel, and the worst part was that she didn't have any idea of what Calliope was telling her.

"I'm saying… Hopefully, you run out of that constant gaze, that precise word, that perfect smile."

Now it was Arizona's turn to frown in confusion. "What are you saying?"

Callie turned on her heel and called back, "I'm saying you're not forgiven yet. I'm saying it'll take a lot of effort to get me back. You hurt me. And that doesn't disappear overnight. Maybe you were right, Arizona, and love isn't enough sometimes."

The brunette was already several feet away, but she heard the blonde's cry of despair. "It has to be. It will be!"

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><p><strong>AN: This has probably been the worst year of my life. So writing this fic has been... One of my last priorities. But I'm trying really hard for it to be a main task. **

**Your reviews are welcome, you never know, your needs might become mine.**


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